I keep having this urge to blog. And then, when I sit down to write something... it feels so self-involved. Who am I to think I'm important enough that someone would want to read what i have to say?
I think, however, that's kind-of the point. Who am I? I mean, really, who am I? Some days, I have absolutely no idea. At times, I look around and I see the world flying past me at a million miles an hour, and I think how little of it I'm actually absorbing. And then, at other times, I'd swear the entire weight of it was sitting squarely between my shoulders. I seem to be carrying the world around an awful lot these days. The real question, of course, is where am I taking it?
Sometimes, I look at the beautiful faces of my children and I wonder how the hell I'm supposed to keep them from... well... ending up like me. How can I teach them to be strong in ways that I'm weak? How can I teach them what I cannot comprehend? It terrifies me. I don't ever want them to feel adrift and lonely, existing in this perpetually-gray fog that I reside in.
And then, one of them does or says something so completely wise... And I understand. Perhaps, I am not meant to be the teacher. Perhaps, instead, I am meant to learn from the perfection that resides within their precious, little souls.
It is a humbling thought, but a good one.
Keep on writing - even if it seems "self involved." You aren't the only one who has felt that way. Sometimes seeing your confusion and problems or "issues" for lack of a better word right now, really helps clarify things for you.
ReplyDeleteI have been blogging for almost 3 years now, sometimes less frequently than others, and when I look back at my old posts, especially from 2008, I see encouragement for the things I am currently trying to deal with.
You will make friends here, and hopefully find some who give you sound advice.
Reveal as much of yourself, or as little as you want, but try to speak the truth here though. Even if it's only a little bit at a time. I hope and pray that you will find a little community of bloggers who come around you and help lift you up, even if it's from the other side of a computer screen. I know I have been blessed with that.
God bless,
Heather- On the road